Many of us are coping with the devastating Sandy Hook tragedy. Unbearable sorrow, loss, confusion, anger, horror – are some of the mixed feelings overcoming us during the day.

There is no simple way to alleviate the profound grief except time, but we would like to share these breathing exercises as an empowering breathing technique that may help us cope and restore balance when we are over come by thoughts and emotions. Concentrating on unifying rhythmic breathing with your arm movements will shift your awareness and provide temporary respite from over whelming feelings. This works. But you have to do it.

During the day when you need to calm and re-balance, face the screen and follow along. The more you do it, the more you will experience temporary calm and relaxation. Doing it is it.

Please give it a try and share this with others who would like a tool for coping and healing.

From Toni and I, our hearts and thoughts go out to all those effected by this tragedy.

Lawrence Tan

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In remembering those we lost on 9/11, please remember the brave responders — they saved over 20,000 lives. Please support our Ground Zero workers, the heroes who are still with us, who deserve adequate care, by visiting the FealGood Foundation.


Remember our troops and our veterans.

Love, love and more love.

Moving, exquisite piece: Autotomy and Remembering by Martha Crawford, LCSW

what a shrink thinks

The limbs of a starfish assist escape because they can be shed.

(Shuker, KPN. 2001. The Hidden Powers of Animals: Uncovering the Secrets of Nature. London: Marshall Editions Ltd. 240 p. http://www.asknature.org/strategy/7120557f65475a9a7d8656fd02946964)

Some people live their whole lives in one zip code. They remain near and close to their family of origin, and their extended family. They find their earliest attachments to be hospitable, enduring, and nurturing. There are people who still have their best friends from kindergarten, from high school, from college and from twenty years ago.

These lives have, for the most part, offered a kind of narrative continuity, consistency, a sense of going-on-being, where the people who know them now, knew them then, and can watch and mirror what has changed, and what hasn’t.

These are lives that unfold progressively, epigenetically, perhaps each chapter moves forward with a tidy security – or perhaps with a suffocating, repetitious…

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In her new book, Healing The Sacred Divide, Making Peace with Ourselves, Each Other, and the World, Dr Jean Raffa takes us deep into the place where two circles overlap, an ancient symbol of healing and wholeness. This is the space where we intersect, you and me, your ego and my ego, your masculine, my feminine, your country and my country, your religion and my religion. It is the mandorla, an almond shaped contact point where the overlap has the potential to expand. The the greater it grows, the smaller the divide. Closing the gap is the opening of doors.